Wednesday, September 14, 2016

I consented to ask the other half of me

I remember one time I looked for the stone for almost an hour before I consented to ask the other half of me where I'd hidden it, only to find I hadn't hidden the stone at all. I had merely been waiting to see how long I would look before giving up. Have you ever been annoyed and amused with yourself at the same time? It's an interesting feeling, to say the very least.

Another time I asked for hints and ended up jeering at myself. It's no wonder that many arcanists you meet are a little eccentric, if not downright cracked. As Ben had said, sympathy is not for the weak of mind.

-- The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

a chocolate too many times

"Why you can't stand Dylan the book?"

"I've read it too many times."

But when I want something I want it always, like chocolates, I never ate a chocolate too many times.

"You could read it yourself," she says.

That's silly, I could read all them myself, even Alice with her old-fashioned words. "I prefer when you read them."

-- Room by Emma Donoghue

Sunday, March 22, 2015

smelled like a public john

Andy Sharma was his name - a private dick who smelled like a public john. I was very pleased with that one and knew that Cat would have enjoyed it too, had I been able to tell it to her.

This is despite the fact that it's a very unfair smear on his name. The place only smelled like a public toilet because of his attempts to get it clean but us hard-boiled detective client types haven't got time for political correctness. If it's fairness versus a half decent one liner, the one liner wins every time. I find this a very good rule by which to live one's life.

-- Infidelity for First-Time Fathers by Mark Barrowcliffe

Saturday, August 9, 2014

I want you like the sea

I want you, I thought. I want you like the sea wants a sacrifice of souls.

Now that's not the sort of thought that normally troubles my thinking tackle on the mezzanine floor of a business event, I can tell you.

In the grip of such a powerful emotion, I did the only thing I could.

"Goodbye," I said, although it may as well have been "beep beep", as I made like the roadrunner out of there. There was then a very embarrassing period while I stood by reception waiting for a cab.

-- Infidelity for First-Time Fathers by Mark Barrowcliffe

Monday, January 6, 2014

pull the ear of a sleeping pit bull

However, the penalty for leaving her sleeping was to share angst and guilt until dead, so like a boy on a bet going to pull the ear of a sleeping pit bull, I tugged her shoulder at arm's length.

She stirred and sat up, clearly still asleep. Then she lay down again and started to snore. Now from an early age I knew very well the danger of returning to lighted foreworks, as my dad had always made me throw things at them to see if they'd go off while he hid behind the old coal bunker.

-- Infidelity for First-Time Fathers by Mark Barrowcliffe

Thursday, January 2, 2014

BookCrossing: The Prince of Deadly Weapons

I wasn't too eager to release this book in public. The reason: the words Deadly Weapons featured prominently on the cover. However, I was able to overcome my hesitations and release The Prince of Deadly Weapons in Coquitlam's Town Centre Park in mid-August 2012. Any guilt I might have had thereafter didn't last long, because the book was caught the same day!

Here's the journal entry I received:
Found the book on the bench at Town Centre Park shortly after it was released. Will read and release back into the wild!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

We segued within a few faxes

And so it began. Faxes back and forth, a long-distance correspondence with a woman I'd never met. What began oddly became progressively more odd. The pace of conversation was outrageously slow, and this suited us both - neither of us was in any hurry. But the enormous geographical distance also led us to quickly let down our guard. We segued within a few faxes from innocent flirting to innermost secrets. Within a few days our faxes took on a tone of fondness, then intimacy. I felt as if I were going steady with this woman I'd never met or spoken to.

-- Open by Andre Agassi

Monday, September 9, 2013

BookCrossing: Tuesdays with Morrie

One afternoon in July 2012 I executed the best themed release of all time. The idea came to me during a moment of clarity (those usually occur as I sit cross legged, eating a grilled cheese sandwich) and it took a great deal of planning to pull off. I am immensely proud and have been riding a delicious wave of self-satisfaction ever since. You must now be very curious, and I don't blame you - this buildup of anticipation must be torturous. With your well-being in mind, here's the juice: I released Tuesdays with Morrie on a Tuesday! Yes yes, I know I know. Please calm yourselves and sit back down. We don't have all day.

It was a beautiful summer's day and my walk through the park was very calming, except for the small fact that my heart was beating exceptionally fast, for I knew even then that I was about to perform an extraordinary act that would no doubt alter the course of the universe. Sorry, butterflies. I saw an empty bench ahead of me and I knew what needed to be done. After a slight hesitation (could I really go through with this? am I the right person for this role?) I placed the book on the bench and breathed a huge sigh of relief. What was done was done.

A journal entry came in later that same day:
Just picked up this book on a local park bench while I was out walking with my 11 month old son. Look forward to reading it and sending it on its way!

serving them through glass windows

She tells me that when I was still in the crib, my father hung a mobile of tennis balls above my head and encouraged me to slap at them with a ping-pong paddle he'd taped to my hand. When I was three he gave me a sawed-off racket and told me to hit whatever I wanted. I specialized in salt shakers. I liked serving them through glass windows. I aced the dog. My father never got mad. He got mad about many things, but never about hitting something hard with a racket.

-- Open by Andre Agassi

Sunday, September 1, 2013

BookCrossing: The Telling of Lies

I released a few books in Town Centre Park last summer (now you know what I did then), and had some success with catches. One such release and catch was with The Telling of Lies, which I released next to Lafarge Lake on the Trans Canada Trail. A very important characteristic of this particular catch is that it was my 100th catch from all my wild releases! Woohoo! The release photo is pretty sweet, and I am not biased at all. TToL had been in the wild for a mere five days when I received this exhaustive journal entry on July 11, 2012:
it has been moving

Sunday, May 12, 2013

BookCrossing: Silence Speaks for Love

I'm so behind on these caught-book posts! My BookCrossing activity the past couple of years has been very minimal, which means I haven't released many books, which means I haven't had many catches, which means the trigger to post here about earlier catches doesn't occur, which means the catches for books that happened in June 2012 have yet to be posted! I released Silence Speaks for Love in November 2009 at Coquitlam Centre and a journal entry came in on June 18, 2012:
Found in the return bin of the New Westminster Public Library.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

mutter to themselves, of course

Tennis is the sport in which you talk to yourself. No athletes talk to themselves like tennis players. Pitchers, golfers, goalkeepers, they mutter to themselves, of course, but tennis players talk to themselves - and answer. ... Why? Because tennis is so damned lonely. Only boxers can understand the loneliness of tennis players - and yet boxers have their corner men and managers. Even a boxer's opponent provides a kind of companionship, someone he can grapple with and grunt at. ... People sometimes mention the track-and-field runner as a comparably lonely figure, but I have to laugh. At least the runner can feel and smell his opponents. They're inches away. In tennis you're on an island. Of all the games men and women play, tennis is the closest to solitary confinement, which inevitably leads to self-talk.

-- Open by Andre Agassi

Friday, November 9, 2012

BookCrossing: Fear The Worst

In mid-August of 2011 (August 15, to be exact) I was at the Seattle Premium Outlets, located just north of Seattle in Tulalip. While there I released Fear The Worst. A week later - a journal entry by a new member!
I am at Cultus Lake BC sitting in the sun and reading the book. I can't wait to finish the book and pass it on. This is a great idea.
The book followed me back to Canada. A few days later release notes were made for the book's release on a bench at Cultus Lake's main beach. And then, two months later, another journal entry by another new member!
Found book at Main Beach, Cultus lake, B.C.

Took it home to Delta, B.C.
I really enjoyed it and I am happy to pass it on.

I left this book at the Ladner Leisure Centre in Ladner B.C. on Oct

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Prank Night by David Robbins

I read Prank Night around Halloween last year. So I'm a little behind on this blog. Waddaya gonna do 'bout it, hey? Make me quit? Cuz I just might do that with or without your help, fool. Anyway, Prank Night got me scared, but not for the right reasons. There were so many errors! Aaaaaaaaaah! To see the errors I detected, click here.

[After posting this, I learned that I actually finished Prank Night in November of 2010! For real?! That was not last year. Holy smokes.]