A single tin-opener

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. To suggest I'd defraud an old lady, no matter what the inducement, was ridiculous.

'One million pounds,' said the Cat. 'There are eight of us here and that's a sixth of the profit due to even the highest investors. It's absolutely our ceiling.'

'One million hounds?' said the dog, who had clearly misheard. 'That is an army, sir. The world would be yours, though the logistics of feeding them all would be astounding! A single tin-opener just wouldn't be up to it.'
-- Lucky Dog by Mark Barrowcliffe

To be honest, I'd sooner defraud an old lady for one million hounds than one million pounds. One million ponds would also be nice, but at that point why not put them all together for a nice lake. Paddle a canoe across the lake by moonlight.

a cheeky giggle

Lucy looked at me and gave me a cheeky giggle. Unlike most things that people give you - socks, underwear, under-sized shirts - I was actually in some need of it.
-- Lucky Dog by Mark Barrowcliffe

I know a Lucy, and she's given me an under-sized shirt or two in the past. She's also given me a few giggles (some cheeky, some not), and I am very appreciative of that. Here's to you, Lucia.

just heard a dog speak

'Did you hear that?' I said.

'What?' she said, which is as good as a 'no'. I had no previous experience in the matter but I felt sure that those who had just heard a dog speak were unlikely to reply 'What?' to such a question. Swooning, exclaiming 'Egad!' or at the very least phoning major circuses would be the response I was looking for.
-- Lucky Dog by Mark Barrowcliffe

Forget phoning the circus - phone The Dogs of Babel's Paul Iverson.